Fran Jones- Contributing Blogger

Focused on Marriage and Relationships

Frances Jones is a “free-spirited person” and is definitely a mommy with purpose!  She is a wife to a wonderful and loving husband and a mother to 3 beautiful children. Over the years she has been both in the professional work field as well as a stay at home mother. Although she has been in the Dental field for over 10 years, her focus has transitioned to align with her purpose.  She believes that everyone holds a purpose and can do anything that they put their minds to.  Frances is currently in school obtaining her Bachelors degree in Psychology with a concentration in Christian counseling. She enjoys helping family and friends with advice regarding how to make things better in their lives, especially concerning relationships.  She truly loves to see others dwell in happiness.  Frances currently resides in Germany by way of Ramstein AFB.  

What can you expect from Frances?  

REALNESS, FRANKNESS and PURE advice for today's wife/mother!  Frances is not afraid to say what most of us would like to say yet she is able to speak with a tone of understanding and reliability! Get ready for "Frankly Fran!!!"

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Make Sure Your Fence is Sturdy!

December 16, 2016

Hello to all

 

In our marriages we have every right to guard it at all times. Sometimes people on the outside feel as they can dictate or have a say in the decisions made within your marriage. If boundaries are not set in the beginning it can and will get out of hand quickly. Never allow anyone, I don’t care who it is parents, siblings, or friends to come and cause a disruption in your home. Yes at times relationships will be strained because they may not like but at the end of the day you and your husband are a team and they must respect that.

I know some may say well I would like my family’s input on some things, this is all well in and good as long as they are open minded, not taking sides and have a genuine concern for your marriage. When you have boundaries in place lines will not be crossed. This all goes back to a previous blog about the seeds you plant. When planting those seeds good or bad be careful who you share things about your marriage with, because some say they forgive but in honesty they don’t and when another issue arises it will come out.

Make sure your fence in made of iron because iron sharpens iron. You will start to see that you are not the only one who feels the way you do. You just keep pushing don’t allow the enemy to come in and tear down what God has built for you and your spouse. When you find you and your spouse arguing over what someone has brought into your marriage. Stop for a second and check your relationship with each other make sure that it’s “BRAIDED” and if it is “TWISTED” take a little time out to get it braided. I love you all and remember we all are growing within our marriages. Until next time ….

 

Frankly,

Fran

 

Hebrews 12:1 (NIV)

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

What Season is Your Marriage Experiencing?

November 29, 2016

Hello Hello Hello,

I know that it’s been a while but I have not forgotten you all. I want to speak about seasons/changes that you grow through within marriage. Just like we have seasons here on earth we also have them within our marriages. Nothing in your marriage should stay the same not even the love for each other it should grow more and more.

Some of you may be in the season where you feel like giving up and feel as though all hope is gone. Well I tell you we all have been there and this is not an easy pill to swallow. I want you to remember why you fell in love, what attracted you to that person, why you couldn’t wait to get home to see them. Someone may be on the verge of signing the divorce papers, I urge you to please think and rethink before you make that decision. I call this season fall/winter. Sometimes you have to fall back in order to spring ahead. Fall is cold, uncomfortable, dark, inconsistent, and you never know what to expect. Don’t give up though because spring is around the corner waiting for you. At this point be careful who you tell your problems to because they can and will use it against you as if you owe them something. You will forgive your spouse and they won’t. Be careful of the counsel you seek, how you speak of your spouse and how you think. These all play a part in the healing process and GROWTH of your marriage.

Hello Spring! you have suffered the cold weather and the seeds that you have planted are in bloom. They are either good or bad. Spring time is where you can show off what you have been working so hard on during those cold months. You can see the fruits of your labor, see how you have changed how you digest certain things. Spring is one of those seasons within the marriage that we are all on when we first meet our spouse. We are on cloud nine and can’t describe the feeling we feel when someone mentions their name. When we are in this season we must be careful not to be distracted by the good weather but enjoy it. We must remember to love not lust over our partner because when the fall or winter comes we don’t know how to stay warm. Meaning we don’t know how to grow through our issues. So enjoy your marriage , always be ready for whatever season it is and whatever it brings. Love yourself so you can love your spouse . Until next time...

-Frankly Fran

”For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1

Secrets...SHHHHHH!

October 05, 2016

For some I know this is a touchy topic but a necessary one.  Secrets within your marriage are the worse. To me a secret is just like a sin, there is no big one or little one it’s ALL a sin or secret. Withholding information from your spouse stunts the growth and progress in your marriage.  It leaves the door open for trust issues to creep in, respect issues as well as security issues.

When I was younger, before I got married, I would hear married women say “Girl you know I have an account he (the husband) doesn’t know about.”  In my head I knew this was wrong and I wondered why it was such a big secret.  To me this was saying “I’m preparing for a divorce” and why get married with that mentality?   As I said last week are you planting weeds or roses?  Secrets are definitely weeds.  I saw that the ones who spoke this way always had drama going on within the marriage, they were never happy, and were always speaking negatively.

What is done in the dark will soon come to light so that account, that phone number, the way you truly feel, where your heart is, or what you are preparing for will come to light.  If anyone in your circle is speaking this way or encouraging you to handle your marriage this way I urge you to SEPARATE yourself immediately.

Keep in mind of how you would feel if you found out your spouse was keeping a secret, no matter what it was.  Have enough respect not only for yourself but for God to say “hey I’m going to tell him how I feel, I know he is who God has blessed me with, I know he will listen, I know he will understand.”  Even if he doesn’t display these things give him the benefit of doubt and just tell him.  You two are a team and as you continue to grow in your marriage together know that weeds of this sort will try to grow just don’t feed them and you will be fine.  Until next time...

Frankly,

Fran

 

“For nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be known and come to light”.

Luke 8:17

Are You Planting Weeds or Roses?

September 29, 2016

In life but more importantly in our marriages we must be careful what we speak into the atmosphere.  Keep in mind that our marriages are the gift that continues to give.  We must be cautious of words, actions, and thoughts that we may have. Sometimes it may seem that your spouse isn’t doing or saying anything right. Your emotions can and will take over and have you in a situation you aren’t ready for.  Keep in mind that you CAN NOT change a person.  Who’s to say that your spouse is the one with ALL the issues.  This is where you take time out to be open and honest with yourself.  It’s time to check yourself before you check him. 

When you get on the phone, have lunch, or go shopping with your BFF and you began to speak death over your marriage such as: “ He need to change”, I just want out” , He will never change” and so forth you are planting seeds that WILL NOT reap a fruitful harvest, you are planting seeds of destruction.  If that friend is keeping it “100” with you she will stop you and say don’t speak that way.  A friend will allow you to vent but they will also be honest with you.  Since we know we can’t change people, let’s change the atmosphere.  People adapt to their surroundings, it is natural.  Begin to speak life, tell him that you see growth even if it’s small, remind him that you are teammates not enemies, show him that you care about him in more ways than one, most importantly pray for him in season (when things are good ) and out of season(When things are bad).

Yeah I know it may seem tough at first but trust me when you start watering , loving, speaking life, showing attention, pruning , plucking weeds at the root watch how your ROSE garden begins to blossom.  You will see so much growth in not only the area that you are focused on but you will see other little roses coming along.. Until next time.

 

Frankly,

  Fran

 

Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

Proverbs 18:21  (KJV)

Teamwork!

September 20, 2016

I can’t stress working as a team enough.  There should never be a doubt in your mind that your spouse doesn’t have your back.  Having each other’s back is a sense of security between one another.  You all are no longer working as individuals but now as a team.  The two have become one…as it is written.

So you may say “well, he does his thing so I’ll do my own thing also.”  Well that’s all okay to an extent as you both will need your individual “me” time.  But remember, being in a marriage means that one has to be selfless and not selfish.  It can’t be all about you and what you want.  You have to be willing to put the other person first.

When you don’t work as a team people (kids, friends and family members) will play on it and have you at odds with your spouse more than you intended to be from the start.  Never allow anyone to come between your bond with your spouse.  People will always have something to say, whether good or bad, however at the end of the day you aren’t married to them- you’re married and accountable to the person you love and has chosen you to be their spouse.  You and your “boo” should be velcro.  When you are this close you can speak without speaking, your spirits are attached to one another, you will start feeling what’s going on before they open their mouths, finishing each other’s sentences and so forth.  Being in tune with your spouse is one of the most rewarding feelings.  The key in marriage is to not just get married but to remain married.  So as you continue on the wonderful journey of marriage love your teammate and remain selfless.  Until next time…

Frankly,

      Fran

 

 

Mark 10:8

And the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh.

Forgiveness Within Your Marriage

September 13, 2016

Hey hey hey…I’m speaking of forgiveness with the marriage because this can make or break your relationship with your spouse. Keeping in mind that marriage is the physical representation of how our spiritual relationship with God should be. How can one not forgive their spouse and truly love God? How could we want God to do something for us that we are not willing to do for our spouses? Forgiveness is much deeper than the eye can see.

Forgiving your mate is a vital part of your relationship because if there is not true forgiveness there is no growth, love, honesty, hope, faith, or trust. These are all aspects we need in order for our marriages to continue on this joyful journey. I know that there are some things that we say are unforgivable but God says not so. Now forgiving does not mean forgetting. It just means that you are letting go of whatever it is you were angry about so you and your spouse can move forward.

There may be some unrealistic expectations going on also that is causing this rift. You will never be able to grow in a particular area if the issue is not addressed or not reconciled. This will stunt your marriage’s growth. Your marriage is like a flower… it needs water, just the right amount of sunlight/shade, but most of all it needs communication and love. I was always taught if you want your flower to blossom show it some love and talk to it.

Your marriage is a gift that continues to give so don’t stunt your growth because of unforgiveness. It’s not worth it. Until next time…

 

Frankly,

     Fran

 

 

Matthew 6:14-15

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive you.

Take Care of Your Gift!

September 05, 2016

Marriage is a physical representation of how one should be in a relationship with Christ.  It’s more than a piece of paper, it’s a lifetime commitment that one has made to another person and God.  Don’t be fooled, marriage is far different than dating someone for several years; common law and whatever else the “World” wants to call it.  When you are married, you are in it for life.  When dating you have a choice to leave or stay.  Marriage holds so much more weight than people realize, that’s why it should NOT be walked into lightly.

Marriage is a gift that continues to give if and when you take care of that gift.  Wives we should love, encourage, be a listening ear, be a shoulder, and pray for our husbands daily.  We should cherish their hearts.  Though they are strong and sometimes seems as if they have it all together they NEED us.  Being a wife requires patience, love and understanding.  Even when they are on your last nerve remember that they are your gift.  When you love something/someone you take care of it, you appreciate it, you make sure they are taken care of.

I know you may say “Well Fran What about what they should be doing?”.  That’s where we often times mess up, we get so caught up in what they aren’t doing that we miss the opportunity to do what we as wives are called to do.  I had an uncle who told my husband and I this “If you all place one before the other neither will go lacking.”  Marriage is about selfless actions constantly.  So this week let us as wives focus on our husbands and what we can do for them instead of what they can do for us.  They do far more than we know, seen and unseen.  Take care of that wonderful gift that God has blessed you with. Until next time…

 

Frankly,

     Fran

 Luke 12:48

“Whom much is given, much is required”

Two Are Better Than One!

August 28, 2016

Holding each other accountable:

 

My husband and I struggled in this area for a while and are still working on it.  Holding one another accountable is a very vital component of a marriage.  It’s like a main artery leading to the heart.  Holding your husband or wife accountable with finances, spiritual growth, parenting, communication and schedules can mean the difference between making or breaking your relationship.  My husband lives by a schedule, if it's not planned it's not happening.  On the other hand, I simply I don’t rely on schedules too much; Because that’s just my personality and I believe that even when there is a schedule in place it may not work out as planned...but that‘s neither here nor there.  Needless to say, I would inform my husband about activties the kids would have prior to the week and forget to mention it again as the event date got closer.  Handling things like that was causing an issue as he would forget about the events.  So he went out and purchased a huge planner that we could jot down our weekly activities in.  Everything we had going on was now visible and he wouldn’t forget.  This is an awesome way to see whats going on and there are no mix ups now.

Being married we must remember that we are a team.  We are in this together, when one falls the other is there to pick up the pieces.  Communication is a key factor in any relationship especially marriage.  Take a day or two out of the week to really catch up with one another. Asking questions such as, How’s work?, What are some things we should be praying for with each other?, whats going on with the kids?, how are we doing financially?, what are your thoughts?, how are you feeling?. These are just a few questions to help you.

 

Having another couple for accountability is awesome.  It’s not to place anyone in your business, let me just put that out there.  But it‘s to get different perspectives of the same thing that you and your spouse may not see.  My mom always told me‚ “ two eyes are better than one.“  Now understand that with accountability comes correction.  If you don’t want to be held accountable, then you don’t want to grow.  You can‘t grow in any area if you are easily offended, wear your feelings on your sleeve, feel that your way is the only way , or that you are always right.  Those thoughts will hinder your growth.  When choosing the other couple always pray and ask God to lead you to the right couple.  Make sure that you all are on one accord and they also want to grow.  We  all are  held accoutable one way or another. As you are on this journey to a wonderful marriage I pray that you are open to recieve correction so you can continue to grow in love!  Until next time...

Frankly,

Fran

Ecclesiates 4:9--10

9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.

Is Your Marriage Braided or Twisted?

August 24, 2016

What is Marriage to You and Are All Strands Present?  Marriage within the new generation is taken so lightly and it is not protected.  We must remember that marriage is a ministry.  It is actually the number one, most important ministry we as wives must manage before we can move into another.  If all aspects of our marriage be it financial, emotional, sexual, and spiritual are not met and properly attended, the marriage is surely bound for destruction. The three strands being GOD, husband and wife have to be strongly woven together.  If one strand is not present you no longer have a braid which is tight- you now have a twist that can be easily unraveled.

 

When we get married, there are two different persons coming from two different backgrounds.  Bringing the two together can sometimes be a challenge.  For instance your husband may not have grown up with a father in his life and you may have a difficult time being patient with his inconsistencies related to this void.  Ladies, it’s not your job to tell him how to be a man.  He knows in this area he is weak.  He desparately needs for you to just be there, encourage him, and not make him feel less than a man.  You have to know when to speak and when to be quiet.  Our tongues get us into a lot of trouble, I am guilty as charged.  When you do this you are not only displaying your lack of trust and respect for your husband but now he may be wondering why he is even married to you if he is not the man you want him to be.  Operating as the three strands, God will direct you both.  Never leave the most important strand out, GOD. Don’t add any either that can be a mess in itself.  Love and confide in one another.  Pray for your husband and have weekly devotion together.  Make sure that braid is so tight that it's gotcha looking Chinese girl, LOL!

Frankly,

Fran

Ecclesiastes 4:12 NIV

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not easily broken”

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