Complacency Yearns for Creativity!
I often share my journey as a working wife/mom turned depressed stay-at-home mom turned entrepreneur as a testimony of how things can turn around if we are willing to do some work on ourselves. I operated under the illusion that nothing was wrong with totally surrendering to me being just a wife and mom for years. I know what it's like to use every major responsibility as a distraction from taking on the task of walking in one's individual purpose. I will say once again, I deeply love my husband and our children, there is certainly much purpose in those roles. However, I advocate for those wives and mothers who feel that they must hide in the shadows of those roles. It wasn't my husband's responsibility to wake up the entrepreneur in me nor was it the responsibility of our children, it was mine! While support from your husband and children is important, it is more important that we as wives & mothers discover our purpose and live it in front of our families. They deserve to see the brilliance of who we are, it adds to the collective purpose of the family. Imagine being on an assembly line and watching everyone else work and never adding any valuable input to what is being created. Imagine being a highly educated & skilled surgeon with ideas of massive impact and never sharing a single one which could potentially shape and change the world of medicine. Knowing that you have something inside of you that is meant to be released to the world and not boldly doing so is damaging to one's soul.
Complacency is defined as a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unaware of some potential danger. It is further defined as smug satisfaction or self-satisfaction with an existing situation or condition. Now, this full definition blew my mind. I always knew that complacency, in short, involved self-satisfaction but the words "smug"; "danger"; "unaware" simply had me thinking WOW! When you're complacent you are not even aware of the danger involved. I've shared many times that my wake up call came about via a conversation with my younger brother. He had been watching me slowly conform to this mindset of complacent living as it was showing up in my physical appearance. I was depressed and could not really pinpoint why. I kept telling myself that I was happy with my husband and our children, unaware that my satisfaction with them had nothing to do with my disappointment within myself. I would pray for God to reveal to me the issue while ignoring the signs at the same time. I kept trying to drown myself in tasks involving motherhood in an effort to ignore another calling. Anytime someone would mention businesses that I started in the past or business ideas that I shared I would quickly dismantle the conversation by saying things like "I am too busy," "my most important job is being wife and mom!" There were even times that I would be angry if people inquired too much. I recall my father telling me some time ago, "Ella, you will not be at peace until you walk in your purpose." I was hiding in plain sight!
I had my beautiful family but something was missing...the real me! The danger in complacency is that you don't realize how insecure you are, how dangerously dissatisfied you are. If I could redefine the word I would say that it means to be satisfied with being dissatisfied. I had to recognize that creativity was missing in my life. I had to forgive myself for allowing so much time to go by without passionately pursuing my purpose. I had to learn to ask my family to for time to work creatively as an entrepreneur. I had to be willing to let things fall apart so that it could all come back together. I gave myself permission to live guilt-free, dream and set new goals that had nothing to do with laundry, dinner, homework or family errands. I began to ask my husband for help concerning household tasks that are "traditionally" expected for moms to complete. I developed non-negotiables regarding the time that I needed to work my businesses. Now when my daughter thinks of a working mom she doesn't ask me to go a 'regular job" as she once did. My family is proud to see me function in various roles! They know that what I do is part of God's plan and it encourages them to pursue their dreams. That is the power of being a wife and mother! Challenge complacency with your creativity!
I challenge every reader to challenge themselves. I will leave you with this quote from Benjamin E. Mays, a minister and civil rights activist:
"The tragedy of life is not found in failure but in complacency. Not in you doing too much, but in doing too little. Not in you living above your means but living below your capacity. It's not in failure but aiming too low that is life's greatest tragedy!"